Five major communication problems
in relationships that you can fix!
Every single marriage or relationship has its good times and
bad times. Financial difficulties, the stress of life's events,
and health problems just have to be weathered as best you
can. Although these problems are often the major reasons
for divorce, communication problems in relationships are very
often the root cause of all the problems. If you are not
able to communicate effectively, it's almost guaranteed
that you'll experience problems with your spouse. Good
communication skills are the foundation for a strong and
healthy relationship. Lets take a look at
the five most common communication problems in
relationships and what you can do about them to can get your
relationship back on track.
1.Good two-way
conversations. This communication problem is most
common in long term relationships. You've probably heard
it said that, over time, your partner is able to anticipate how
your will respond in a conversation before you ever
speak. You need to be willing to really listen to
your partner without interrupting. If you are unable to do this
then the not-listening syndrome takes effect,
but this isn't always one sided. Sometimes both
people begin to talk over each other, while in other cases, one
person just keeps talking and will not invite
any kind of response. Making an honest effort to
restore good two-way conversations, with understanding to what
each person's points are, will do wonders for eliminating
communication problems in relationships.
2.Positive communication works well. We all
have very busy lives, and this dosen't leave us much quality
time left over to spend with our partner. If most of your
communications is conversations about problems, this can
wear thin. Reorganize or restructure your day so that you
are able to spend at least an hour together each day. Use
this time to talk about more positive topics or
just relax together. It is quite clear that if most
of the communications between the two of you are of a negative
nature, you're creating a negative environment, which will
harm your relationship.
3.Avoid the guilt trips. Another major
offender that will hamper the communication problems in
relationships is using guilt trips to get your way. This
is much more common than you may think. For example,
your spouse is all over you because you bought
something that he or she thought was way too
expensive. Maybe it was a bit pricy. If your response
is a remark that digs into the past, detailing a
particular mistake your spouse made, this is not
productive and it is deflecting the conversation. In
reality, you are putting a guilt trip on your partner in
order to steer clear of your own mistake. Do yourself and your
spouse a favor and avoid the guilt trips.
4.A bad attitude leads to a bad
relationship. When a conversation begins to take a bad
turn, take a step back. Be like a fly on the wall and examine
each of your attitudes. Are you
being confrontational? Irrational or angry? A bad
attitude can turn ongoing, everyday communication problems
in relationships into an ugly situation. Do your best
to be objective. By continuing to be angry and
having a bad attitude, you're just fueling the fire. Take a
time out and calm down before continuing the conversation.
confrontational or irrational attitudes will make a
bad conversation much worse than it needs to be.
5.Don't play the blame
game. This is similar to guilt trips, but
playing the blame game is different because usually only one of
you is playing this game. This is just
plain arrogance and is often used by someone with
a controlling personality. It serves two, very
arrogant and counterproductive purposes. The person who
is into the blame game feels self-righteous and in charge,
while the individual who is blamed for everything feels
resentful. This unhappy individual eventually suffers from
a loss of confidence which leads to
irrational attitudes and guilt trips. If this type of
communication problem starts becoming a normal routine, then
it's time for some professional counseling.
Each one of these communication problems in relationships
are reparable. Address these communication issues if they apply
to you. Remember, it has to be a mutual effort! Life is full of
ups and downs, but both of you will be much happier with honest
and open communication.
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